"Love Lifted Me "

There used to be a  t.v. game show called "whammy or double whammy".  In the real world called life we early learn life is not a game show and we don't receive big prizes.  Double Whammy in the real world  is when life takes on  grief, heartache and pain un-imaginable to the human soul.  It is when in life as the Psalmist says..........
"Deep Calls Unto Deep- Palms 42:17"  This is when the deep floods of anguish, agony comes upon us and we are in the deepest of the deep.  
Webster's Dictionary defines deep as >  extending far downward, extremely grave and serious.  Have you ever been there?  When there is no way-out,  no- way over,  no- way under and no-way around,  there is absolutely zero-way of escape, the only answer is "through" .This is when "Deep Calls unto Deep"  calling unto the one who is deeper than any depth we have ever known or experienced.  Our total refuges, crutches and props have all been removed and as we are sinking we helplessly look up and say "you, oh' Lord are all that I have, it must be you alone who will lift me up out of this deep and bring me out.

Our busyness or denial will never lift us out of our  deep.   We then look up and say Lord, if you will,  please blow upon my life for your glory, I no longer want to just exist or dishonor your person and may I forever be careful to always look to you and thank-you. 

I can honestly say - I have been in the deep of deeps many times in my life, in foster care at the age of 19 months, just turned five years old when my mother died of cancer at the age of 34 leaving 7 children to be given out to families and adoption agency.   My foster Aunt died when I was thirteen yrs. old  and in addition I had two step mothers and lived in much distraught- ness and confusion.  I heard much about who Christ was in s.s. school, but saw very little of him in childhood.  God in his goodness and mercy did place a few wonderful role models in my early years,  but they were not in my homelife.
There were many times through out my young life there was no place to look but Up.   I can sing with heart the old hymn which goes "I was sinking deep within far from the peaceful shore, very deeply stained within sinking to rise no more, but the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry and from the water's lifted me now safe am I....."Love Lifted Me"    when nothing else could help  "Love Lifted Me".

"Love Lifted Me"  out of my deep and planted my feet upon the rock of un- shifting sands.  The God of all Grace sent Tom to me .  He didn't so much tell me about the love of Christ but showed me everyday in everyway  I saw Christ in his everyday life of love and care and outreach to others.

In the movie "The Hiding Place", it was Betsie Ten Boone, who would say that nothing is too deep that God is not deeper still".   Betsie died in the Holocaust, her sister Corrie Ten Boone survived  and lived victorious after her release- because those words of Christ and her sister instilled in her soul  "Nothing is Too Deep"..

Nothing is too deep, not the greatest pain, the greatest loss, the greatest sorrow, not the greatest debt, or greatest family problem,  nothing can overshadow Him,  He is the one who overshadows.

May God's love and grace forever continuely remind us "God's Love is always deeper than our deepest   deep.   And as we live upon the shifting sands and shaky foundations of life, when we begin to sink.... look to Him, and his love and remember -  "When Nothing Else Could Help-  it is then ......
His love will lift us up and bring us out of our deepest deep.


**
The deeper sorrow carves into our soul,
the more joy you can contain.  K. Gibran
 

Perfect Love

God's love through Jesus Christ

Is the rock of my Salvation,

I do not have to be afraid

Even though my enemies are all around me,

For I know He will fight for me.

God's love cradles me and fine

Tunes my every care!

In moments of weakness and despair,

God's word reminds me of His love.

When I'm hard pressed by my

Circumstances, and situations.....going

In the wrong direction....His love

Divinely intervenes.

I am forever grateful for God's love,

Which He so freely bestows upon me

Reminding me of just how frail I am...

I ask Him for His wisdom, and for Him

To enlighten my pathway!

God's love is so potent I cannot live

Without His love!

You Lord are perfection promised
Giver of life for all eternity

***

perfect means - completeness 

 

Unsolicited Intruder

Blessed Are Those who mourn 
 They Shall Be Comforted

  

The unsolicited intruder of sorrow is like a little bird thrown out of it's nest by a wild storm sweeping through all the branches.  But wonderfully as the days and weeks pass God's gentle hand of love reaches down and takes  up  the paralyzed little bird with such gentleness and tenderness helping and restoring it back to it's intended life. The little bird's anguish has been soothed by the assurance of divine love that tenderly creeps into the heart.  God's grace full of love has reappeared and our wounded hearts begin to find comfort in our precious memories of those who are gone. 

Death sweeps away their faults, their flaws, their imperfections which were so easily  noticed when  our loved ones were with us.  I believe sorrow  is a message from heaven so that  we may learn from it and be strengthened from it so we may help and comfort others in their time of grief..

My Child

Sometimes in life we feel our song has ended, it has come to the last verse,  the music has stopped.  We don't want to sing anymore and just when you feel it's all over. . . . from the deepest part of our being the one who gives life, the giver of all life gently blows upon a smoldering flickering candle and breathes life back into our inner being softly whispering hope into our soul . . .

MY CHILD

“The music of life is within you.

Not in the world,

not in circumstances or external things . . .

and not in an instrument.

You are the instrument,

and I am the music.

Whatever road you walk in this life,

it is because I have set your feet upon it.

Whatever trials you encounter,

whatever struggles you endure, 

your joys, your sorrows . . .

these, too, are My will.

I would have you,

through the life you live with Me,

show that the music of life is within,

not without . . .

that it comes from Me.

I am your Hope . . .

your Strength . . .

your Song. 

I, the Lord, am your Music.

My Grace is Sufficient for Thee , when you haven't the strength

to put one foot in front of the other, my grace will carry you. As

God told Jeremiah -  before you were born I knew you and

ordained the events of your life, my grace will carry you ~

Tom and I (Dodi) Bivins when we were little.  Each life  is a song and gift from the Lord of which  each person has their own melody touching others lives.  Each life we touch gently presses into another's soul and leaves it's own special sound forever in our hearts, for past, present and for all of eternity. God tells us in his word "And the two shall become one flesh" So when God calls part of our selves (our loved one's) home to be with him - we now have parts of us truly in heaven, a part of our heart, spirit, mind and our focus is more upward than ever before. Tom carried that precious smile and radiant spirit with him until his last minutes and I just imagine when he opened his eyes in heaven his smile was even more beautiful and perfect.
  
Thomas J Bivins - 1957-2011 
Devoted Husband, Father,
Pastor, Funeral Director, Embalmer                                                                                                    and so much more.                                                                                                                                 

The Quality and Measure of a life                                                                                                             is measured not by it's duration, 
but it's donation. ___Corrie Ten Boone



This photo of Tom and myself is a reminder of the simplicity and un-complexity of life when we were kids.
 I have hanging on my bathroom wall a picture with a lake, sheep, farm, creeks etc.. not necessarily in that order but these photos surround a word which is in the center.... this one word.is "SIMPLICITY" and underneath this word is it's definition - natural and uncomplex.
Life was in such simplicity and un-complex when we were children, God reminds us in his word - we are to become as a little child before entering heaven - 
Through this journey of grief I've pondered a lot on "what is it to become as a little child"? Exactly what did Christ mean when he said we are become as a little children?   I believe he means that our spirits are to be childlike.  The Apostle John in the opening of his epistles often referred to us as his "Little Children".
Well I believe little children don't always have to understand everything, and when they don't know the answers to life's difficult questions they will just shrug their shoulders and say..."humm, I don't know" and simply walk away.  Now when death enters the picture, their hearts and spirits are so broken, I so believe one of the greatest condolences in ministering to someone who has lost a loved one is just a simple (hug) - words are un-necessary.
 Little children are just content being themselves,holding their parent's hand allowing themselves to be guided realizing their weakness, dependency and their need to be held and  lead.
Little children's days mostly consist of simplicity and un-complexty.  Help us Father to yield to this mindset.
Little Children adorn the word humility,  they simply believe and trust what their loving parent tells them.
I believe that is how God desires us to respond to him.

Tom taught me this grace by example, his simple childlike trust, his simple childlike humility, if he didn't know the answer he would say.... "It's okay, the Lord will take care of it" and just go about his work either whistling or smiling. Yes, he had down times, sad times, lonely times, rough times- but through them all he had a childlike spirit of total trust and dependency upon the Lord, he truly knew in whom he had believed in..
 His favorite song was Amazing Grace played on the bagpipes and loved the beauty of creation and would often say "didn't God make a beautiful world?".  I would then rely "yes he did... but if this is the wrong side of heaven - then what must the right side look like?"
 His childlike humility, love, grace and contentment of spirit was satisfied of who he was in Christ or should I say "Was satisified who Christ was in him".  .

and...... Ferree -
I don't know if I ever mention to you... but our wedding vows were from Ruth 1:16-17

 "Entreat me not to leave you,
or turn back from following you,
where ever you go, I will go,
where ever you lodge I will lodge,
Your people shall be my people
and your God, my God, where
you die - I shall die and there
I will be buried." 

On August 24, 2011 was our anniversary of 33 years
 he totally surprised me and
took me to a chapel where we actually renewed our
wedding vows repeating them  to each other.
And then God so chose to call him
home on November 18, 2011

One of his last words spoken to me was "honey,
I want to go home, let me go" (meaning heaven).

Precious in the Eyes of the Lord is

the death of His children

Psalm 116:15

Tom's life, laughter and love of life will forever be playing it's own song and music in my soul and heart.  I rejoice for him and can't even begin to imagine what he is experiencing at this present moment.

A special thank you to my daughter Myra (Josie) who helped me set up this blog...
Luv-u - Mom